You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
