90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
