i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
