just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
