My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
So. Much. Porn.
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