Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Randomize
