if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
