So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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