three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
