But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
