I hope mine doesn't look like that
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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