didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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