Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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