Do vagina's smell?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize