Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
