So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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