I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize