Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
