I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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