IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
