just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
