i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
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The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
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I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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