i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My balls are so social today.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
