The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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