dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
