FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
