my being single is dangerous.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
