Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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