FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
