I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
