Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize