You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
