Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
