i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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