I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
