You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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