Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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