Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
