return my video game
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
