Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
