I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
