i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
