First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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