Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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