There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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