I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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