it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
