He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's shark week go big or go home
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
