I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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