I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
