I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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