Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
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When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
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The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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