Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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