Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
