Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
