I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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