I hate all girls vehemently.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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