it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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