you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
