The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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