Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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