do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize